I am so BUSY
We have a love affair with being busy! We love it and then we hate it. It has it benefits as well as its negative effects on our lives. How did we get here? We might define being busy in different ways. When I hear people talk about how busy they are, I wonder what they are getting by making that comment? Are they implying that I am NOT busy? Do those words help them feel better about themselves? These are maybe some questions we may answer today. How does uttering the words, “I am so busy” validate my existence?
Let’s begin with some positives of being busy.
When we are busy, we feel that we are more productive. When we are working at breakneck speed, we often complete more tasks. As we cross items off our list, we feel empowered and validated. There is at times a surge of energy we feel when we accomplish things. There is an
elevated sense of self when we are known as the “problem solvers.” There is an addictive aspect of busyness.
Secondly, our self-esteem can be elevated. We “the busy” people accomplish things and thus people rely on us. They know we will help meet deadlines and are responsible adults. It feels good to help people and solve issues. Our status in their eyes improves when we solve problems for them. It is a monumental task, especially for leaders to fight this desire to solve the issues of everyone else. We may not be as appreciated or well-thought of if we fail to rescue others when they are struggling. We all want to be seen in a positive light and this is often why being busy is a good thing.
Lastly, being busy can help us be more positive. When we are busy, we don’t have time to dwell on the negative emotions we sometimes all experience. There is no time to be sad, worry about the future or be angry when we our busy lives allow us a distraction from reality. Our emotional and mental health is of paramount importance. Staying busy doesn’t make our struggles go away; however, busyness can help us receive more positives to combat some of those feelings.
So, what lies on the other side of busyness? What are some of the difficulties that it presents to your overall happiness?
At times, living a busy life can weaken our relationships. When our minds and bodies are constantly running, we tend to focus on the next task and often forget to take the time to really be present for others. Our strongest relationships demand our attention and investment in the needs of the other people. Relationships require all parties supporting each other. Often, it is the people we most cherish that are taken for granted when we are overly busy. Our actions often become more selfish and less empathetic. Our needs come first and thus it can strain our relationships with family, co-workers, or friends.
Secondly, our mental and physical health can suffer when we are overly busy. None of us are at our best when we are constantly operating in a state of stress. Insomnia and poor sleep are often the consequences that negatively affect our health. When we are sleep deprived, we tend to become more irritable, fatigued and less kind. When we are busy, we often forget to take care of ourselves. We get less exercise, make poorer food choices, and fail to engage in the activities that fill us back up. If your mental psyche or physical energy is waning, it may be a sign that your busyness is taking a toll on your well-being. Are you aware that your behaviors are negatively affecting you and those around you?
I have been on both sides of busy over the past year. As an athletic director at a large high school, the job could encapsulate 50-60 hours per week of my time. I lived that reality for eight years. Busyness took its’ toll on my sleep and overall wellness. Conversely, it was also energizing to solve issues and juggle multiple things at the same time. There was an intense feeling of accomplishment within those sometimes-chaotic days. I think therefore being busy is often celebrated and can be addictive. It feels good.
I now occupy a different space as I have been on sabbatical for the past four months or so. I am appreciably less stressed, sleep much better and I am more kind. The time to slow down has allowed me to focus my time more on others. I have taken on more household tasks, I write more “thank you” notes and send emails to uplift those that I care about.
In summary, I think that busyness is a state of mind. If you are doing the things you love, those twelve-hour days don’t deplete your energy, rather they fill your tank. However, we need to be careful about over-extending ourselves. Our society often reveres those who are busy. I think we need to reevaluate what busy should look like, and our society may reap those benefits. There will be costs to you if busyness is your preferred mantra. Even those who are constantly moving need to protect themselves often from themselves. Take the time to evaluate your own state of busyness and decide if it has more benefits or detriments to your current life. What would those closest to you say about your actions? What are you getting out of being busy? We can all become more aware of the consequences of our actions!