I am so BUSY

We have a love affair with being busy! We love it and then we hate it. It has it benefits as well  as its negative effects on our lives. How did we get here? We might define being busy in  different ways. When I hear people talk about how busy they are, I wonder what they are  getting by making that comment? Are they implying that I am NOT busy? Do those words help  them feel better about themselves? These are maybe some questions we may answer today.  How does uttering the words, “I am so busy” validate my existence? 

Let’s begin with some positives of being busy.  

When we are busy, we feel that we are more productive. When we are working at breakneck  speed, we often complete more tasks. As we cross items off our list, we feel empowered and  validated. There is at times a surge of energy we feel when we accomplish things. There is an  

elevated sense of self when we are known as the “problem solvers.” There is an addictive  aspect of busyness.  

Secondly, our self-esteem can be elevated. We “the busy” people accomplish things and thus  people rely on us. They know we will help meet deadlines and are responsible adults. It feels  good to help people and solve issues. Our status in their eyes improves when we solve  problems for them. It is a monumental task, especially for leaders to fight this desire to solve  the issues of everyone else. We may not be as appreciated or well-thought of if we fail to  rescue others when they are struggling. We all want to be seen in a positive light and this is  often why being busy is a good thing. 

Lastly, being busy can help us be more positive. When we are busy, we don’t have time to  dwell on the negative emotions we sometimes all experience. There is no time to be sad, worry  about the future or be angry when we our busy lives allow us a distraction from reality. Our  emotional and mental health is of paramount importance. Staying busy doesn’t make our  struggles go away; however, busyness can help us receive more positives to combat some of  those feelings. 

So, what lies on the other side of busyness? What are some of the difficulties that it presents to  your overall happiness? 

At times, living a busy life can weaken our relationships. When our minds and bodies are  constantly running, we tend to focus on the next task and often forget to take the time to really  be present for others. Our strongest relationships demand our attention and investment in the  needs of the other people. Relationships require all parties supporting each other. Often, it is  the people we most cherish that are taken for granted when we are overly busy. Our actions  often become more selfish and less empathetic. Our needs come first and thus it can strain our  relationships with family, co-workers, or friends.

Secondly, our mental and physical health can suffer when we are overly busy. None of us are  at our best when we are constantly operating in a state of stress. Insomnia and poor sleep are  often the consequences that negatively affect our health. When we are sleep deprived, we  tend to become more irritable, fatigued and less kind. When we are busy, we often forget to  take care of ourselves. We get less exercise, make poorer food choices, and fail to engage in  the activities that fill us back up. If your mental psyche or physical energy is waning, it may be a  sign that your busyness is taking a toll on your well-being. Are you aware that your behaviors  are negatively affecting you and those around you? 

I have been on both sides of busy over the past year. As an athletic director at a large high  school, the job could encapsulate 50-60 hours per week of my time. I lived that reality for eight  years. Busyness took its’ toll on my sleep and overall wellness. Conversely, it was also  energizing to solve issues and juggle multiple things at the same time. There was an intense  feeling of accomplishment within those sometimes-chaotic days. I think therefore being busy is  often celebrated and can be addictive. It feels good. 

I now occupy a different space as I have been on sabbatical for the past four months or so. I am  appreciably less stressed, sleep much better and I am more kind. The time to slow down has  allowed me to focus my time more on others. I have taken on more household tasks, I write  more “thank you” notes and send emails to uplift those that I care about. 

In summary, I think that busyness is a state of mind. If you are doing the things you love, those  twelve-hour days don’t deplete your energy, rather they fill your tank. However, we need to be  careful about over-extending ourselves. Our society often reveres those who are busy. I think  we need to reevaluate what busy should look like, and our society may reap those benefits.  There will be costs to you if busyness is your preferred mantra. Even those who are constantly  moving need to protect themselves often from themselves. Take the time to evaluate your own state of busyness and decide if it has more benefits or detriments to your current life.  What would those closest to you say about your actions? What are you getting out of being  busy? We can all become more aware of the consequences of our actions!

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