Is Perception Reality?

 Are perceptions and reality the same thing when it comes to your attitudes and opinions?  It seems that opinion and reality have become very muddled today.  Maybe they have always been.  We all tend to pontificate that our opinions are correct.  I am fine with that; however, it becomes an issue when we are no longer able to listen to differing thoughts. 

Perception is the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses.  Reality is the world or state of things as they actually exist.  While obtaining my counseling degree; we would often use the statement “perception is reality.”  This would mean that how we see things is how things are.  Our opinions and thoughts are our reality, so it must be reality?  I find this a fascinating philosophical discussion and will share a few thoughts from my perceptions.

Why is this important you may ask?  The reason that this is important to understand is that we work with, or we lead a diverse group of people with very different perceptions of the world.  They are not going to see the world as we do because of where they were raised, their age, religious beliefs and many other factorsthat make us all unique. If we are to be successful in creating an inclusive workplace that values everyone, it behooves us to better understand the thought processes of those working in our organization.  Know your people better and it leads to better workers who feel valued and thus make the organization more successful.

For argument’s sake, let’s accept that we all do see the world a bit differently.  No two individuals have the exact same life experiences and thus are going to interpret how the world works very differently.  The world appears to operate much differently to someone raised in an affluent family regardless of which part of our nation they call home.  Someone raised in a dangerous section of a major city will likely be more cautious and maybe extend less trust to people.  I was raised in a rural area of our country during the 1970’s and 80’s.  I was exposed to a very middle-class lifestyle with both parents who are still together after 59 years of marriage.  I was naïve to the ways of the world for the most part.  I am often grateful for my sometimes-boring upbringing.  My reality was much different than many others that grew up in that same timeframe.   

Age is also an important factor to consider when leading people. My childhood would seem like a foreign country to many young people of today.  The youth of today have grown-up in world I struggle to grasp.  I can empathize but cannot really conceptualize their reality.  For these reasons, we should be careful about how we characterize people we have just met.  We don’t know their story and thus are not equipped to pretend to understand them.  Consequentially, I attempt to see the positive qualities of others rather than pointing out their deficiencies.  They probably think that I have deficiencies also.  They are most certainly correct.  I view me as a continued work in progress!

Think of these varied perceptions as putting on different pairs of glasses and they all have differing prescriptions.  Meaning when I where pair number one my perception is much different from pair number ten.  Pair number one is a bit fuzzy, and I must strain to see the world.  Pair number ten is extremely fuzzy, and I can barely see and thus get very frustrated.  People who are unhappy are looking through those fuzzy glasses constantly. We have people in our society that are unfortunately seeing the world through those extremely fuzzy lenses.  Their life experiences are much different than mine.  There are probably good reasons why they are not always pleasant. 

Why does any of this matter?  Maybe the next time someone does something that is irritating you will cut them some slack because you don’t know what they are going through that day or what struggles they are going through that you cannot conceptualize.  Bruce Brown of Proactive Coaching would say, “assume positive intent.”  When people behave irrationally, it often has little to do with you.  They are going through something, and we are the recipient of their poor behavior.  This will be upsetting to us because we are human and have feelings.  Even though I may be upset, I attempt to put myself in their shoes.  When I do this, it helps me move on and not get fixated on their issues. If we all can show some grace and patience with others, we may be happier ourselves.

So, are our perceptions reality?  I think our life experiences form our perceptions about the world.  My positive outlook on life might not be your perception at all.  We have lived a different existence.  Also, who we share our time with will have a profound influence upon us.   It is a good idea to surround yourself with those who think differently.  Get out of your own Echo chamber and you may learn something and become more accepting of others reality.  Be curious about them and their journey. It is acceptable for us to see the world differently and acknowledge that we all have differing viewpoints.  Be kind and accepting of those who are living a different reality from our own.  Our journeys are at various spots on the continuum of life. 

Is perception reality?  My reality says that you get to decide for yourself.